A Christmas truce

After a few days away and offline, I come home to find the termites having created a thread of 17 pages and counting, over the latest developments in T-shirtgate. Alex McFarlane’s open letter demands a response from the Dear Leader. Comrade Kim Jong de Mooi maintains his undignified silence. It is impasse. Trench warfare. The Somme, 1916. A snooker safety battle between Cliff Thorburn and Terry Griffiths.

We need something to bring the two sides together. And I have the answer. What better than for all parties to get together and record a Christmas charity record?

And I have just the song. “White Flag”, by Dido.

I can just imagine Alex, Lara, CJ, Odious Adam, and the rest, all belting out, at the top of their voices, the poignant lyrics of this song:

I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were,

But I will go down with this ship.

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door…. 

I know I left too much mess and destruction

To come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can’t talk to me again… 

But I will go down with this ship.

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door. 

Surely these are sentiments on which all sides can agree?

“Of course, if Bob Geldorf had consulted me earlier, “Do they know it’s Christmas?” could have been a hit in mid-summer”.  

There’s only one problem with this otherwise wonderful idea – I fear they would never agree on which charity should benefit from the resulting income….


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