Six steps to heaven

This blog post is offered to organisers of international tournaments, who wish to attract worldwide publicity to their event, without going to the huge expense of inviting a field of world-class players. In truth, it is very simple to secure such publicity for your event, if you adopt the following simple, six-step plan:

1. Make sure you invite to your event at least one representative of Israel, and at least one from Iran.

2. Ensure that at some stage of the tournament, you pair the Iranian player against the Israeli.

3. Ignore the fact that FIDE rules allow you to flex the normal Swiss pairings, so as to avoid such conflict situations. Ignore, too, the fact that the standard Swiss pairing software allows you to instruct it to avoid certain pairings.

4. Ignore all pleas from the Iranian player to change the pairings. Take no notice of the fact that even the world’s most respected FIDE arbiter advises that you should change or avoid such politically sensitive pairings. Also ignore the fact that the Iranian player, were he to play against the Israeli, would be placing his chess career and both his own, and probably his family’s lives, in serious danger, back home in Iran.

5. When the Iranian player does the inevitable and defaults the game, don’t let it end there, but kick him out of the tournament as well, even though he is quite willing to continue playing.

6. Finally, make a video of yourself, justifying your actions, and send it to Chessbase, and all the other major chess news outlets of the world.

If you follow this simple, six-step plan, you too can have your otherwise insignificant tournament topping the headlines on every major international chess news website and magazine, and at virtually no incremental cost to yourself!

 

“Six steps nowadays? Must be inflation” 

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